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Writer's pictureVernita "Neat" Simmons

Know When to Let Go a Toxic Relationship



What is a toxic person? Anyone abusive, they don’t support you and leave behind a trail of mayhem, excuses, and broken promises. It’s someone who is an unhealthy emotional burden in your life. Toxic people take and do not give. They put you down and never lift your spirit. They leave you feeling depleted of hope, joy, and peace.


There are times you find yourself in the company of those who don’t honor your values, morals, or respect you. Their goal is to make you miserable. They’re not happy, and everything wrong in their life they blame anybody other than themselves. They are on a mission to threaten your peace of mind and prevent you from the promising future; the Lord has for you. Anywhere they go, they leave behind chaos, pain, and sorrow. (2 Timothy 3:1-5). These are the aftereffects of a toxic person whose only concern is of themselves. They are self-centered, believe they’re never unfair, and despise anyone who corrects them or holds them accountable.


You’ve tried to be their friend. You allowed them to make amends. You’ve even defended this individual and took responsibility for their reckless actions. Too often, they’ve shown they don’t appreciate your kindness. Beloved, you may need to walk away from this person. No relationship is without problems, but some people are poison and makes developing a healthy give-and-take friendship impossible.


Toxic people even make it appear everything is your fault and they’re the victim. You can’t trust a word they say because they hide behind a façade and are a perpetual liar. They wear it as if it is a robe of righteousness. They may confess their wrongdoings only to retract their statement while continuing to cover up even more lies. (Proverbs 12:22). Lying is among the six things God hates. (Proverbs 6:16-19).


They can’t function unless they instigate drama and mayhem. When anything is going well, hold on because they stir up a mess. It’s like a never-ending trail of anger, excuses, pretense while trying to make you feel guilty. If they do any kind deed, it is for their glory and carried out with an ulterior motive.


When they show they have no respect for you or a moral compass, it’s time to end the relationship and not feel guilty. If you’re avoiding being in their presence, dreading the next encounter because you know a storm will erupt, when your sanity is at state, it’s time to stay a safe distance from this individual. (Proverbs 22:24-25).


We can’t help everybody or save them, neither do they want to change. In their eyes, you’re the problem and are keeping them from enjoying their life. Beloved, recognize it’s the season to relinquish them into God’s hand and move onward. Even 1 Corinthians 15:33 urges us about the dangers of keeping bad company. God doesn’t demand us to linger in toxic relationships with people not responsible for their actions and won’t accept help. If you’re married to such a person, seek counsel from a Pastor. Sometimes, you must love enough to let go and not look backward. Stop holding on to someone who doesn’t value and appreciates you because you are worth more than that!

Do you need help to overcome a toxic relationship? Contact me now!

I pray the musical Christmas selection with Don Moen, stirs your heart and bring you joy.


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